The ghost of James Potter reveals himself to his friend, Sirius Black.
"I’ve just been murdered," he tells Sirius.
Sirius gasps in horror, “You’re joking.”
James looks him in the eye and replies, “I’m dead, Sirius.”
"why are these scientists talking about pluto when they should be curing ebola" because they’re astrophysicists not molecular engineers or infectious disease specialists you’re getting mad at the wrong people
*walks into Starbucks and violently shakes the barista* LOOK WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A NEW BED FRAME THEN????
a new sex position called the ‘9’
its just me lying there, i dont have a sex life
straight: gotta be skinny as a stick. can’t be curvy. gotta be straight. straight as a ruler.
bisexual: you can only be attracted to two people in your life. choose wisely
pansexual: you have to be attracted to literally everyone. sorry bud i dont make the rules
polysexual: attracted to only the finest polyester fabrics
asexual: attracted to anything that starts with the letter a. ants? yep. agriculture? you got it. the alphabet? you better believe it buddy
White Heterosexuals in Love
Coming to theatres next spring, a love story that is vaguely forbidden between two kind of sarcastic, innocent cisgender people who grew up in middle class american families.
Based on a book featuring White People Almost Kissing
But why do parents think that if they refuse to get their kid diagnosed with something they clearly have and never acknowledge it, even if a doctor mentions it, that thing will just magically go away?
If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the safest place for a woman. It’s not.
If women covering up their bodies worked, Afghanistan would have a lower rate of sexual assault than Polynesia. It doesn’t.
If not drinking alcohol worked, children would not be raped. They are.
If your advice to a woman to avoid rape is to be the most modestly dressed, soberest and first to go home, you may as well add “so the rapist will choose someone else”.
If your response to hearing a woman has been raped is “she didn’t have to go to that bar/nightclub/party” you are saying that you want bars, nightclubs and parties to have no women in them. Unless you want the women to show up, but wear kaftans and drink orange juice. Good luck selling either of those options to your friends.
Or you could just be honest and say that you don’t want less rape, you want (even) less prosecution of rapists.